Three Steps to Becoming a Successful Man
A successful man is one who finds his purpose and creates a life where he can fulfill that purpose. He knows or seeks to find the balance between fueling that purpose and sacrificing himself and others to make it happen.
How do you define “Success?” Better yet, what makes a man successful?
The answers to these questions may vary from person-to-person. They also may change based on your specific circumstances or a point-in-time. For me, success is when the reality of what you see matches the desires of your heart. Success is not merely a manifestation of your internal desires but also considers the method that you use to arrive at the final result. In religion you’re taught that success includes righteousness aka right standing with God and People. But for those that have not adopted that same spiritual understanding success can merely equate to a favorable result regardless of the method used to get there. For example, a man may seem to succeed for a while but the money he obtained by fraud usually flies away. As a result, his feeling of success is fleeting. When we rob from another, we rob from ourselves, because we are in a mood of lack and limitation which may manifest itself in our body, home, and relationships. Even though a man may have accumulated a fortune fraudulently, he is not successful. I’ve come to learn that there is no true success without peace of mind. What good is man’s wealth if he can’t sleep at night, is sick, or has a guilt complex running his mind and relationships?
Success also means successful living. For example, a long period of peace, joy, and happiness could be considered success. The opposite is true for those that just “get by”. For most men that is not true success. Over many years of seeking to find the true meaning of success and experiencing it’s challenging pursuit, I’ve learned that in order for a man to truly be successful his motive must be greater, nobler, and more altruistic. Similar to the example of Jesus in the Bible, a Man must serve others to truly be successful. The enlightenment experienced during that pursuit has led me to identify “Three Steps to Success” that every man, and woman, must follow and live by in order to truly become “Successful”.
The Three Steps to Becoming a Successful Man:
- Follow your heart. Find out the thing that you love to do, then do it.
- Become a specialist or expert. Specialize in some particular branch of work and know more about it than anyone else.
- Don’t be selfish. You must be sure that the thing you want to do does not result in your own success only.
Step 1: Find out the thing you love to do, then do it.
I began playing sports at the age of 9. At that age I was full of energy, enthusiasm, excitement, and a desire to compete with others. The early morning practices, weekend games, and fun times with my friends gave me something to look forward to. I wanted to be the next Deion Sanders on the football field and Allen Iverson on the court. I would watch those guys play and study their every move. In my head I had learned the exact technique and body movement of Iverson’s crossover and figured out exactly how high I needed to lift my legs when I high-stepped towards the end-zone like Deion. I watched every game, practiced in the backyard, purchased the jerseys, and wore the wristbands just like them. Soon I realized that a large part of the reason for their success was not just because they were talented, or their stats, or that they looked good doing it. It was because they truly loved what they did. It was then that I discovered Step 1 to success. “Success is in loving your work.” They loved it so much that they “Studied to show thyself approved.” ~ 2 Timothy 2:15 Something I had heard in church all my life. In order to be successful a man must be willing to put in the work. As an athlete or business professional it is important that you keep up with relevant news, read articles, attend conferences, conventions, and take an active interest in continuous education and personal development. In other words, you must become a student of the game. The greats find joy in the preparation for battle. They fall in love with the process of becoming successful, not just the feeling of success itself. Why is that? It’s because they have found the thing that they love to do, they followed their heart, and then they did it! The same measure holds true for a successful man today.
Step 2: Specialize in some particular branch of work.
As an athlete we are taught to choose a position and focus on playing that position. As a college freshman I was encouraged to choose a major to focus on until graduation. After college we are encouraged to choose a specialty and concentrate on it until we find a career that aligns with it. When I transitioned from an athlete to a blue-collar worker I struggled to find a job that aligned with my true passion in life. I couldn’t see my life outside of football and lacked the motivation to truly give some other career path my all. It wasn’t until I had an “ah ha” moment as a volunteer football coach at my old high-school. It was that experience that helped me realize that I did not actually love football for what I could do for the sport. I realized that I loved football for what the sport did for me. I loved entertaining the crowd, being a part of a team, competing to make myself and others better, and the therapy that came along with running full speed through another person without going to the principals office or jail. I soon realized that regardless of the final outcome of my football career, I was already successful. How was that? you ask… In that season of life I had aligned my interest in my work with my desire to serve others and become a go-to guy for knowledge, help, and information. In the words of my mathematician friends, “I specialized in a specific craft that helped X do Y to accomplish Z.” I had aligned my life’s experiences, desires, education, interest, and passion with a particular branch of work and become the go-to guy for information. I was a coach, a mentor, a leader, and a specialist. By becoming a specialist I could focus my time, effort, and energy each day. I woke up with a renewed sense of belonging and an internal drive to understand and learn more so I could be better and pass it on to others. I realized that by specializing in a particular branch of work, profession, position and skill that I had experienced true success on the inside. For the first time I experienced a deep sense of purpose, peace, joy, contentment, and success as a young man. The same measure holds true for a successful man today.
Step 3: Be sure that the things you want to do does not result in your own success only.
“A successful man is not selfish.” To truly be successful your desire must not be selfish. It must benefit humanity. Your ideas, effort, and actions must involve the purpose of blessing and serving the world. If so, life will give it back to you “pressed down, shaken together, and running over.” ~ Luke 6:38 The true meaning of life is found in doing things for others that could more than likely never repay you. It’s one of the key qualities of extending grace to others. As an unmarried man nearing 40, I have found that the journey of life isn’t as sweet when you take it alone and do things for reasons that solely revolve around self. Yes, as a man, it’s important to be able to care for yourself but to become truly successful you can’t be the only person that you care for or about. The traumas, heartbreak, and experiences of life have made me want to curl up inside and cloak myself in a sheet full of selfishness. It was during those periods of severe withdrawal from others that I realized that it was the ability to interact, serve, and care for others that I truly found meaningful and purposeful in life. My experience as a 9-yr old wanna be Deion and “ah-ha” moment as a volunteer high-school football coach helped me realize that in addition to falling in love with my work and becoming the go-to person for wisdom, it was also the desire to help others succeed that helped me find the true meaning of success. My desire to see my teammates happy along with my desire to see my players accomplish a new personal best or complete a championship season gave me a sense of internal satisfaction that nobody could take away from me. Years later, when we all grow older and drift apart to follow our own path I can look back on the memories and impact I had on those that I helped and served along the way to bring me joy and ultimately helped me become successful as a man. I’ve come to realize that it wasn’t the championship rings, trophies, medals, degrees, titles, money, or status that defines success. The true measure of a successful man lies in his ability to do something with his life that results in the success of others and not just his own.
A successful man loves his work and expresses himself fully. He understands that success is contingent upon a higher ideal rather than the more accumulation of riches. The man of success is also a man who possess great phycological and spiritual understanding.
That leads me to “The Power of the Subconscious”. In considering the three steps to success we must not forget the power of the subconscious mind. This is the energy that backs any and all plans of success. We must not forget that our thoughts are creative. “According to your belief, it will be done unto you.” ~ Matthew 9:29 Thoughts fused with feeling become belief. If you imagine an objective clearly, you will be provided with the necessities, in ways you know not of, through the wonder-working power of your subconscious mind. When you know how to apply the powers of your mind, and when you are expressing yourself fully and giving of your talents to others, you are on the sure path to true success. If you are about God’s business, or any part of it, God, by his very nature, is for you, so who can be against you?
At this point, you’re probably asking yourself, “How do I align my mind with God’s business to truly become “Successful?”” For that reason I have included two steps to help you.
Step 1: The first step in conveying your desire, idea, or image to the deeper mind is to relax, focus, get still, and be quiet. Similar to meditating, this relaxed, quiet, peaceful attitude of mind will allow you to block any noise or false narratives from interfering with your mental absorption of your idea.
Step 2: Begin to imagine the reality of what you desire. Release the request with absolute faith and confidence to God. The same way that a farmer deposits a seed in the ground trusting the laws of growth. Remember, “As within, so without” – Whatever you put in your mind will show up in your life. The outside mirrors the inside. External action follow internal action.
“That what you seek is also seeking you.” ~ Rumi
There are many ways by which your prayers may be answered. The answer to your prayer may come through an advertisement in the paper, a friend, or random situation. The point is the answers always come, provided that you trust the working of your mind and your faith. Aspire to become a successful businessman by imagining yourself doing what you long to do, and possessing the things you long to possess. Become imaginative; mentally participating in the reality of the successful state. For example, Envision: Making a play (sports); Winning an award (career); Being on stage (artist); At the alter (marriage); Looking in the mirror (fitness goals). What I am encouraging you to do is to make a habit of it. Go to sleep feeling successful every night, and perfectly satisfied, and you will eventually succeed in implanting the idea of success in your subconscious mind.
“Believe you were born to succeed, and wonders will happen as you pray.”
For more information on how to develop the Mindset of Success feel free to reach out to me at www.kennybspeaks.com to schedule a one-on-one Mindset Coaching Session. I’d love to share more details related to The Two Steps to Align Your Mind with God’s Business and The Three Steps to Becoming a Successful Man.